Quit being your enemy.

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I wish I could keep my opinion to myself, but if I see one more article written and directed at “whites” or “blacks”, further fueling the very topic we are supposedly trying to “overcome”, I’m going to scream!

White, black or purple: if you raise your precious little boys to be thugs, rapists, looters, disrespectful and unabiding to the law- they will be viewed by the world (and law enforcement) as such.

I’m raising my son to have an understanding that HE is the one that creates his own circumstance and that HE is must take responsibility for his own actions and that HE will suffer consequence of his decisions. I’m also raising him to believe that he is NOT a victim and that he should not allow “the world” to pigeon hole him into any steryotype.

The interesting thing, coming from a little girl that grew up in very under rescourced neighborhood(s), is that I have NEVER felt “threatened” by a black man who was respectful, well spoken, educated, and law abiding.

HOWEVER: IN MANY OF CIRCUMSTANCES I HAVE felt threatened by black men AND white men who walked around with their pants below their rears, toting weapons or throwing around their “weight”, making lude comments and cat calls, bragging about their indescressions and violent crimes they have proudly gotten away with while attacking those that attempt to protect society, using and abusing women, high on drugs and drunk….and the list can go on and on. MANY MANY TIMES I HAVE BEEN AND FELT THREATENED BY THESE MEN.

I was raised believing that my parents were victims of the government, society, and of their own childhoods. They drank and did drugs because the world was so cruel to them. They lived off welfare because the world owed them. They were abusive because they were supposedly abused and they simply didn’t know any better. Never once, in my childhood or in my adult life have I EVER heard them TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR A SINGLE ACTION OR QUIT CRYING ABOUT BEING A VICTIM!! After my father murdered my mother and went to prison (and was released after LESS than 2 years mind you) he STILL blamed the woman he murdered for all of his problems….seriously!!!

GUESS WHAT? I turned out to be a law abiding member of society. Not because I’m white- BECAUSE I CHOSE TO TAKE OWNERSHIP OF MY LIFE, MY DESTINY, MY CIRCUMSTANCE AND MY FUTURE!!!!

Some groups believe that we have in part created this by our segregation of these neighborhoods and that this in turn creates an environment where the underrescourced CANT change. Well, pratel…WHERE DO I FIT IN YOUR STERYOTYPE?? I have the “genes”, I have the “addictions”, I have the “excuses”, but I CHOSE to take ownership and responsibility, and there is NOTHING IN AMERICA that stops ANY person in ANY neighborhood from doing the same. When the world tells you your trash (something I was raised to believe and was reinforced in me time and time again), try this: DONT BELIEVE IT!!! Instead of becoming it, PROVE they are wrong.

Burning down your city and attacking your neighbor isn’t taking any steps in the right direction.

Creating further racism by pigeon holing your own brothers and sisters isn’t taking any steps in the right direction.

Responding to the crime against your brother with more crime against your brother IS NOT A STEP IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION.

If you don’t know “how” to escape your circumstance, I can share with you a few steps I found along my journey:

Step 1: Leave.

If you are being abused in any way, yet you remain present, you are no longer a victim but a willing participant.

Step 2: Seek Help.

Swallow your pride and realize you can’t do it all on your own.

Step 3: Fix your STINKIN THINKIN.

If you leave, but you remain a victim of your past or a product of your upbringing, then your just taking all the violence you have come from and relocating it. It will infest like a plague.

Step 4: Educate Yourself

An uneducated person is a drain on our society. If it takes 10 years, so what. Get yourself and keep yourself educated.

Step 5: Don’t Take.

Welfare is in place for a reason, and if you are working as hard as you can and ends aren’t met, use it to help you! Don’t take it, but see it as a loan. You are getting the help you need now so that you can help and bless others later. Other than welfare, grants and the generosity of your brothers and sisters, DONT EVER TAKE ANYTHING THAT IS NOT YOURS!! If you aren’t working for it, you don’t deserve it and taking it isn’t helping you.

Step 6: Take Responsibility.

Develop a little skill called SELF AWARENESS. If you are conscious of self (your attitude, your language, your representation of yourself, your treatment of others), you can master any situation. I teach this lesson to my 6 and 8 year old and they get it: You will never get what you want out of others by disrespecting them. You will almost always get what you want by using a positive tone, the right words, and a smile.

Step 7: Keep Clean.

This step is multi-fascited. First, keep clean by proper hygene. No one is going to see you as a productive member of society if you haven’t showered or brushed your hair in days. You look a mess people think your a mess. Second, dress clean. No one is going to take you seriously if your skirt is up to your coochie and your boobs are spilling out, or (guys) if your pants are so far below your rear your walking like you just jumped off a horsie. If your shirt says “f*** off” that’s exactly what your future employer is going to do. See ya! Third, leave the drugs and alcohol with the LOSERS, I mean, people who want them. You want better for yourself and your future, and you aren’t going to get there stoned. Fourth, wherever you live, keep it tidy. Whether your in a multi-million dollar home, or assisted living- you have your own space, keep it organized and tidy. How you treat your “things” represents what you think your “worth”. If you treat your things like garbage and disposable, that’s a representation of how you feel about yourself and who you are. A disasterous room or home also creates unnecessicary chaos, which isn’t productive to your new life.

Step 8: RESPECT

The final step, RESPECT. Respect your God and creator and embrace his will for your life. Respect authority and law enforcement and government. This doesn’t mean you always have to agree with them, but you do need to show them a level of respect and understanding.

RESPECT YOURSELF. If you don’t respect you, no one else ever will. Prove to yourself first what your worth is, and before you know it, the world sees you just as valuable. You believe your worth a nickel, you will be seen and treated like your worth a nickel. You believe your worthy (Matthew 10:29-31) and you will be seen by the world as worthy of greatness. QUIT DEMANDING RESPECT FROM OTHERS, for its earned through your actions. You will never be respected when your acting a fool and disrespecting yourself and all those around you.

For me, I will continue to pray for the communities being ripped apart by their own members, but mostly, I will pray for the little children watching. May they know that THEY have CHOICE.